Sunday, November 18, 2012

Shame on-- what?



We've all got our embarrassing moments.

Mine today was screaming at a coffee shop.


All I know was that I heard the truth, I just didn't know how to accept it. 


You were real after all.



.......


...........


"...Can I have feelings for you for real?"



It sounds stupid but that's how I felt.






We've all got our embarrassing moments.


Mine in the summer of my sixteenth year, I fell for a friend again. This time, I confessed. He said, please just forget about it. Three years later, I'm not yet sure if I kept my end of the promise.


Do I like you or do I not like you or do I like you?


How many flower petals get shredded before I know the answer? 






We've all got our embarrassing moments.


Stuffing erasers up your nose because they smell nice, rolling around on the school ground because you were rough-housing.


I did all the weird things little boys would do. 


Sometimes, I'd look back and laugh and wonder if all my memories were true.



It was fun but as you get older it would be the stories you'd tell.


And you can tell anyone who'd listen, "Yeah, I did that. So much for dignity."


You only live once.






We've all got our embarrassing moments.


While watching a play I squealed a little too loud when my favorite character confessed to the girl he liked. I buried my face in my friend's shoulder and was thankful how the theater was dark.


But why should we embarrassed about being happy with love anyway?






We've all got our embarrassing moments.


I volunteered for class and I had to show them what was inside my bag. The table ended up being filled with things I bring everyday. 


I never realized how many notebooks I had.


But each of them had a thought and word, a part of me I could share.


Never be embarrassed about who you are. 


What is essential is invisible to the eye. 






We've all got our embarrassing moments.


I cried in school June 2011. Just, put your head in your arms and suddenly tears come out type of crying.


Call me sensitive. Call me shallow.


You can never judge someone unless you know the reason behind their tears.


Is it a bad thing to feel sad for people you treasure; people who helped you smile in the darkest moments of your life?


You don't understand.






We've all got our embarrassing moments.


It was a magical night, and as we hugged I may have held on a moment too long, held you a bit tighter than necessary.


But it was a magical night, and we all have excuses.


Mine was: I was happy.


Holding on to that moment. Never letting go.






We've all got our embarrassing moments.


You sit in a circle with your friends, and catching up would always bring up a cringe-worthy story.


And as you laugh, and blush, and hide your face behind your hands, you remember.


And these people. They made it possible.


During those moments you might just wish that the ground would open up and swallow you whole; it would be better than be in that shameful spotlight life throws at us sometimes.


But then you look back and look forward.


There is a new day tomorrow. A day to redeem yourself.


...........or maybe just make more moments.


Moments that would turn to memories.


One day you'll be grateful for them.






We've all got our embarrassing moments.


Revel in them.

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