Sunday, December 23, 2012

Too much thinking, too much feeling

Yesterday kept flashing through my mind. Of how close you were, of how we sat next to each other but I couldn't even look at you in the eye, much less talk to you. All the teasing and the half-meant words, if they really did mean something at all. All the words you said were on a constant replay. If they were heavy with meaning or just empty air, the question kept resurfacing. I don't know if I was just reading too much into things, but it doesn't change how I felt. We don't talk after the wave of jokes were over, and I think that it was all in my head.  But then you do something--a smile, a laugh, a set of words that makes my heart do that stupid thing of falling all over again.

What did you mean by that?

Please don't keep me hoping about something that doesn't exist.

Please tell it to me straight, because I am too dense to understand hidden signals and too imaginative to understand half-meant jokes.

And my heart is not a toy that you can play and entertain yourself with, only to leave it battered and alone when you're bored and done with it.

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